Finding Balance: I Feel Like a Fraud

Finding Balance

I have always encouraged others to live a healthy, balanced lifestyle. A life that promotes happiness, confidence and overall well-being both physically and mentally. Well, it’s time I start taking my own advice.

After Christmas each year my husband Joey and I have a tradition of taking time to reflect on the past year and to set goals for the year ahead. This typically occurs on our trip back to Vancouver after an extended holiday visit in Calgary. The conversation was a bit different for me this year. I lacked clarity and experienced anxiety when thinking of my future, specifically the year ahead. 2017 was, well let’s just say it was an ‘interesting’ year. There were plenty of highs and lows – I experienced one of the happiest most memorable days of my life when we got married in August. It was a day I will never forget and it was a much needed highlight amidst a year of both personal and professional confusion.

I have been in the health and fitness industry for 11 years now. Starting with my first fitness comp in 2007, to becoming a certified trainer in 2010 and starting my online business in 2013. Throughout this time I experienced a lot of growth but that growth didn’t come without it’s challenges and failures along the way. My fitness career started out as a bit of a whirlwind. I won my pro card in my first competition, landed 7 magazine covers, traveled to the worlds biggest expos and had sponsorship contracts with some of the industries leading brands. Sounds like a dream right? Sure, at first it was fun, but for some reason the excitement fizzled out quickly and I began to purposely back away from the scene of booty shorts, spray tans and expo booths.

Sure, at first it was fun, but for some reason the excitement fizzled out quickly and I began to purposely back away from the scene of booty shorts, spray tans and expo booths.

Not that I have a hate on for the industry at all, I have so many fun memories from that time in my life and made so many amazing friends that I still have today, but the reality was that I didn’t ever feel like my authentic self and something inside me knew that this chapter of my life was just a stepping stone towards something greater. After experiencing the pressures of putting my physical appearance before my actual health I became committed to helping other women find confidence and the feeling of empowerment by taking control of their health through proper nutrition and working out while maintaining a sustainable and realistic lifestyle. After launching my website I felt I was on the right path and was proud of the work I was doing. Not only was I supporting others but my time and efforts were put into building a profitable business for myself.

Jump forward a few years and my goal of sharing information and helping others is still the priority. However, in the process of building my own business I somehow lost site of my authentic self again *sigh*. So much of my time has been spent trying to keep up on social media, the latest trends, learning about SEO, marketing, analytics, sales funnels, content curation, accounting…. seriously my brain hurts just thinking about it all. I burnt out and continuously found myself asking what am I doing? What in the actual F am I doing besides wasting time comparing myself to others, scrambling to keep up, worrying about staying relevant and striving to make ends meet? This isn’t what I imagined. This isn’t why I started this.

“What in the actual F am I doing besides wasting time comparing myself to others, scrambling to keep up, worrying about staying relevant and striving to make ends meet?”

During my 2018 Live challenge that took place in January I reminded the participants frequently to remember their ‘why’. Why did they sign up for the challenge and why is reaching their goal important. In asking this question I was forced to ask myself the same thing. I realized that my focus had shifted away from my ‘why’ and more towards what I thought I had to do to stay relevant in a massive pool of online trainers and  fitness programs. My why, as I’ve already mentioned, has always been to help others but it’s also to have fun doing it and to live a life that I love – and that’s what was missing. A life where I am free from the desk job, a life where I have the opportunity to be active, meet like-minded people, continuously learn and share my experiences with others. Instead, my reality has become sitting at my desk all day, feeling a bit isolated and stressed out. Instead of feeling happiness, fulfillment and freedom I’ve been experiencing feelings of worry and frustration. How long can I keep doing this? I’m only getting older! Wait – am I too old to do this? Am I just wasting time? Am I just a massive failure!!?

Whoa Heather, chill. It’s never too late. The perfect time to change things and create the life that you want is right now. Breathe.

“The perfect time to change things and create the life that you want is right now. Breathe.”

So what’s next?

This post is an accountability post, because I’ve always believed that being true to your word is a trait that truly defines your character. If I say I’m going to do something I will do it. So here it is – As in any other relationship if you don’t take the time to take care of yourself first, you can’t give the best version of yourself to your partner. So I’m taking a journey this year to force myself out of my comfort zone and find a way to achieve true life balance. Not just with dieting and working out but by trying new things, going new places and connecting with people all the while using my own workout programs to optimize my health.. Along the way I will be documenting my experience through another passion of mine – video! I have so many memories of being a kid and creating homemade movies and putting on performances for my family. Even though I was ridiculously shy, being on camera brought something out in me. Being able to tell a story and evoke emotion in others brought me such happiness.

What can you expect?

I will be exploring new places, new foods, new activities and will be discovering ways to stay active and stay on top of my health as I go. And I’ll be sharing it all through my YouTube Channel and this blog. It’s all about living a life that I love and helping you to do the same. The adventure starts with a month long trip starting in Japan – a destination that has been on mine and Joey’s bucket list for quite some time.

“It’s all about living a life that I love and helping you to do the same.”

The truth is, at this point I still haven’t figured it all out, and it’s still a little scary but, I know that I’m on the right path. It won’t always be easy but I know that taking the leap will be worth it. If there’s an area in your life that feels out of balance, you feel stuck, worried or frustrated – My biggest hope is that you will relate to my journey, the successes and the struggles, and will find the inspiration necessary to take action in your own life. And yes, I will continue to create workouts and programs that produce real results and that you can do from anywhere- because we’re going places baby!

If you’ve read this far, thank you for being my source of accountability. I want to connect with you and hear where you’re going this year and what areas of your life may need a new action plan. Comment below or send me a message I would love to hear from you.

This is it. This is where it begins. I’ve purchased a bunch of new camera gear to take on the road with me and in my next post I will be sharing all these fun new toys and my plans for the next couple of months. Stay tuned my friends,

xo H

25 thoughts on “Finding Balance: I Feel Like a Fraud

  1. Susan says:

    Wow darling, you write so well! such a personable read, you are very good at letting people know that we’re all just a little bit imperfect which makes us very very human. I cannot wait to see what’s next.

  2. Robyn Mitchell says:

    I loved loved loved this. As I too am going through something the same. Finding my purpose. And meaning. I look forward to seeing the rest of 2018 through your eyes. Keep up the great work lady! You are a rockstar and role model to us all.

  3. Victoria says:

    Thanks for sharing your story Heather! I think we can all relate in some way or another! You have been a big part of my journey and I love hearing about yours.
    We are constantly evolving and questioning our own purpose, our decisions and what we want in life! Best of luck! Have fun in Japan!

    • Heather Robertson says:

      Thanks for your on-going support Vicky! I’m so lucky to have you as a client and as a friend. We’ve both evolved in more ways than one over the years and I can’t wait to see what’s next for you too xo

  4. Kristin Campbell says:

    Thank you for sharing this, I can totally relate you.
    I am super pumped for the both of you to re-discover yourselves and your “why”.
    It takes huge courage to not only create your brand, but then to keep re-creating, so what you originally set out to do doesn’t become a monster.
    I look forward to taking part ala youtube.

  5. Diane says:

    I loved this! As i can relate to a lot of this. You are a fantastic writer. I can’t wait to see what in store for you next
    Have a great trip!

    • Heather Robertson says:

      Thanks lady!! It seems like there are many others that can relate. We’ve all got something we are working towards and I think it’s so important to put ourselves out there to both ask for, and give support! xoxo

  6. Michelle says:

    Yes! Thank you for writing such a candid letter. In each stage of life we often have to re-adjust and re-focus ourselves to find the right balance. It hard not to get caught up in the “robotic” nature of day to day life. I often find myself caught up in these internal dialogues, trying to break free of these cycles. Your programs, challenges and ongoing support has helped me break these cycles on more then one occasion. It’s okay to let the dishes sit in the sink while I play with my kids after a long day away at work, it’s ok to sometimes stay up past my bedtime talking with my husband uninterrupted (a rarity in our house), it’s okay to say no sometimes (a very hard one for me). Life is a great balancing act and sometimes a day to day balancing act and that’s okay!
    Heather you are such a strong, compassionate and beautiful soul. I feel so fortunate to have you in my life. Thank you for sharing.
    We are strong

    • Heather Robertson says:

      Michelle that is all so true! It does often feel robotic. We get into routines and lose site of the things that excite us and bring us joy. It’s so great to be able to acknowledge it and also acknowledge that even when things aren’t perfectly balanced it is okay – we don’t need to be perfect! I am also so lucky to have you in my life and am so proud of everything you have accomplished. You are one strong lady xoxo

  7. Melissa Dagostini says:

    This was such an inspirational post!
    Thank you sharing and always being “real”! It’s hard to find these days in the social media world! I’ve recommended your fitness programs to so many people and love what you do!! Keep on inspiring and living your dream all the while remembering your “why”

  8. NJ says:

    Oh girl.. you are truly an inspiration. I respect all that you do and you’ve had a huge impact in my life when it comes to fitness and goals. Stay true – you’ve got an army of people behind you who love you and value and respect all that you stand for! Take his time to figure shit out and Continue being you. Continue to inspire us, continue to challenge us and in that find your passions and live you dreams! Travel the world, spend as much time as possible with your hubby and those you love ~ and most importantly continue to search for your why and then live it. We all go through this at some point in our lives… and I truly believe this search, this journey makes us stronger. ❤️ You got this ~ and we got you. Xoxo

  9. tracy Lowe says:

    You are amazing. Love you Heather and I know with out a doubt you will accomplish anything you your heart desires. I am so proud to be a part of your family. Love to you.

  10. Rachel says:

    I love This post and so happy you wrote it. I have had so many huge changes in my life in the past year career, family and all of life in general and I have been sitting most days wondering what the heck my purpose is. I feel so lost and overwhelmed with how much information is out there and how easy it is to get caught up in the unhealthy side of this huge social media world we live in. I really look forward to following your journey ahead! I hope it brings the clarity you need and I will look to you for some of the inspiration I need! Xoxo

    • Heather Robertson says:

      Change sure can be overwhelming but it can also be exciting! Try to enjoy the process and know that you are not along. The struggles and challenges will just make you stronger. I look forward to staying in touch with you throughout the year!!

  11. Heather Archibald says:

    Yay can’t wait and good luck! I will continue to use your workouts as a source of challenge and “go-tos” for my own health and fitness and I look forward to seeing what 2018 brings for both of us :).

  12. Jo-Ann Gallo says:

    I have always been drawn to your teaching and workout style … and now I know why. You are more authentic then you know! So excited to be a part of this!

  13. Carol says:

    Hi Heather, I found you on YouTube, and it brought me here. I knew very little about you and your background, so I was educating myself. Thank you for the honest write. It is a pleasure to read that you clearly are humble and human. I say that with the highest regard. Thank you for the content you produce. And remember, it’s reaching many people even on tough days. Many good wishes for you from Rhode Island (US).

  14. Virginia says:

    This was a wonderful honest self assessment! How is the progress?
    Over the last year of 2019, how have you found the energy, time and motivation to create workouts, as well as pursue your own fitness and potentially unrelated hobbies, while still working behind the scenes at a desk managing an online business, which can be a great source of frustration and “joy zapping” (not to mention daily household chores!)?

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